Say Something. Anything.

Anything but that.

Dear Blogosphere,

Can we cuddle? Is there room? I'm warning you: I snore. And flail.

Like Jane Fonda in that terrible-and-I-SO-can't-stop-watching-it movie, Monster in Law. Have you seen that?






I'm drawn to that character because her enormous and campy rage is brought on by the fact that some Spearzilla Lookalike is snapping her gum and calling movies like "Benji" and "Benji 2" --and, by extension, Fonda's wrinkled withered weatherbeaten little body -- old. (Except, I love Britney Lookalike's hair and secretly I hope she wins EVERYthing).

She's all passion. No beauty (read: restraint). She'll stop at nothing. I want to be just like her and I want to run away from her to the safe, strong arms of Wanda Sykes. I want to stop at nothing.

Wanda, bring me my turban and my airhorn. The silence 'round here is deafening.